Archive for peace

Softly Possessed by Love

Posted in Elliana Trinity, jt, monolog, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2013 by norcaliluv

I am in the storm and they fall to me like Noah’s flood inside and out. The tears produced in my life pressed by righteous indignation then by murder then death pressed inward. I had believed a lie, so long I tuned to cowards and frauds to show me the way. Those possessed of anything but love. Love that makes no condition? Ok, ok not perfect right..? Sooo many of them, you pack of donkeys!? Back on task…. The tears flow like now when these wicked things are pressed through my feeble understanding and I fight to win and then to lose, and it hurts. My heart pounds with the rage of a thousand warriors, then with the Love of Christ. This raw and pure thing brought before professors of information has yielded  upon my heart many scars. Often, as it is now my heart threatens and nags. Declaring a resignation is imminent. But knowing, that KNOWING is of central ‘matrix’ level importance, I embrace it without vengeance. For any man to be at odds with another is the philosophy of halflings and unconscious giants. I have no enemies I only refuse to be dominated by blind men and only blind men think they need to butt in and dominate in the affairs of others. I already confessed believed a lie and now as always share some level of blindness. Just not blind enough to try to control your situation declaring how I see better than you, act better than you, moralize your situation as the “leaders” of Christs time assessing by whose sin was hung the mans infirmity. I pray that I would lay down my life if you asked and I cannot allow victims be made in my presence. Then I will not butt into your sorrows as if you would be cool if you saw it like me. For me I am indomitable and this “lack of drive” you thought me possessed of……. Maybe bad things would have happened if I was as focused as I am now had I not begun in sincerity this quelling of the inner passions. Now I thinly smile and my body is racked with pain. My joints like rust fused steel. My head finds some small peace in hope filled reggae tunes. My soul aching from retching out wickedness and hate unlike Christ who was filled with sorrow for His betrayer. I see that unlike wheat we must submit to be crushed. So submit to your personal delusions they may be crushing out a healing perfume from within. Maybe you are only tending the seed for this strong tree destined to shade the weary and having deep roots a life of adversity and the fullest earthly compassion my Creator has my breath at His disposal in the protection of those weaker than I. The children will climb on these branches of my heart and if God so chooses to sustain me here as they grow. They can climb back in no matter age nor position and find shelter and only guidance requested. Am I delusional and self-possessed? I have been under the gun, on the run and in parole hearings near since birth I myself not unnaturally possessed of any truly violent or manipulative patterns or behaviors. I ( a very soft, loving and warm soul) have been by been pressed on all sides by Gods providence and though being pressed the mystery takes me higher. To all the haters and most especially mine, hate on, that the fire of injustice can burn away my injustice, my passion run wild and all delusion and imperfection. You know in the end my friends and you are all thus, we will equally understand. Then understanding we will weep. Then weeping we will laugh. Every morsel of the tiniest bit of separation must be removed. No God that I know or serve can in any way be petty enough to save Ben then send Ven to hell for not for not spelling it right. Somehow through mens lack of consciousness he forgot that the traditions sprang from a powerful mystical encounter and could on no way be twisted into a cage in which bind tender and humble souls. (As the arrogant ones have done here to the humble and beautiful native cultures in Northern California.) It is only lack of understanding that causes so many divisions and our enemy ancient and wise delights in leveraging illusion and misunderstanding to divide Gods perfect creation. So now ragged and weak I try and rest…. Softly and I pray irreversibly possessed by love.

jt

Just a bit of my perspective….

Posted in jt, monolog, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2013 by norcaliluv

At eight years of age I was baptised at Sacred Heart Church in Anderson, California. I was attending the private school there with the financial help of my grandpa and grandma. I remember being so excited to be able to learn about God in school. This turned out to be a mistake and to suffices to say that I was utterly rejected by “the people of God”. Later in my teenage years I attended protestant churches being constantly assured that I needed to “get right”. Then later and during my 3 years and 8 months in youth prison ( California Youth Authority or CYA) I practiced Buddhism, martial arts, male hula, and served in a military program at N.A. Chaderjian called simply the Cadets. I also attended some courses from the private school UOP in Stockton and read cool stuff like “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran. I can in no way sumarize the variety of types I was around for those years. After my release from CYA and during the first part of my marriage I attended Bethel Church in Redding, CA a very popular “renewal church”. I also attended some of their first School of Ministry courses. I am now an Orthodox Christian and know I spend the rest of my life in conversion ever reaching for, ever incapable of loves boundless selflessness. For the Christian at least, there is nothing to compare with Orthodoxy in the purity of its transmission of grace from then to now. Ive been diluted and ill-informed, rejected and judged, belittled and mocked by ALL of these groups. So I would encourage you fellow traveler and strugglers, let us keep our gaze upward from whence comes our help and every good thing. All men fail so pathetically to perform love. But then draw close then to one who though he sins he weeps and cries.  To God and his brothers here in humility for forgiveness. God has not given us the power to truly see into the mystery of guilt and innocence in the heart of another. Virtue is PURELY an INSIDE job and any moral rightness applied outside oneself is plain wickedness and is why God has said; “Judge not and thou shall not be judged!” One big reason I believe governments and police are unnatural and harmful. If God is good what can he do or create that is bad?  Only through our misunderstanding or ignorance are “evils” committed in this world. The wickedness of religious groups is fueled by the unnatural anxiety of being right or wrong. This in my mind is related very easily to the fall of man when were separated from the Truth, and grew then to fear deception. It really shows when so called christians go out in joy to dominate anthers intellects and and reveal their “sins”.  Say this magic prayer and all is well, your ticket to heaven is in the mail. THen it then comes with a guarantee that this dollar store salvation cannot be lost….. WAKE UP! You moralize the people with your cheap smokescreen of virtues and so become like the pharisee a white washed tomb. Gaining the Virtues is like going to the gym to bulk up. You never own the virtue you merely tend to it and exercise it or it is unnoticeable and of no effect in your journey. Men who claim to posses them, only declare their ignorance of them. No man is just good! We only struggle together towards it. Only God is without any form of incompleteness. We fully need Him and it seems, we mostly learn good things from each other “by accident” having no love and little respect for each other.

(to be continued.. Helping with a friends B-Day party)

I launch an all out assault on division, judgment and hatred among all men……..

The Revolution is within, pay attention to the war inside and become indomitable from without!

Wake from the Nightmare

Posted in jt, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 14, 2013 by norcaliluv

Friends,

FEAR NOT
In my life I have found that ANY so-called “knowledge” that inspires fear is flawed and should be discarded. Fear can be healthy only as applies when one is ignorant of something. All true knowledge should empower and if that knowledge in some way criticizes, it happens within. So if you are taught to fear I humbly suggest looking for knowledge where there is peace and not anxiety..

blessings to you all.
jt

 

this is great!!!

 

http://www.danoah.com/2013/04/the-disease-called-perfection.html

Cowardly Me?

Posted in jt, monolog, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 27, 2013 by norcaliluv

The only cowards that I see, are men presumptuous enough to label other men cowards. A crime I observe and commit enough to see it’s horrible effects. Stop it! ALL of creation is good. Yet I still fight….? I too fight an illusion. I am no teacher to sermonize from on high. I wear my singlet and report to the mat of life. I wrestle the unknown and he pins me again and again. Paul Trout a world class chef, my friend and at one time my sons wrestling coach, presented this concept to the young men.. The sport of wrestling is one that requires a certain amount of character in which you can bravely confront your fears. Therefore, whether they win them all or lose them all, the boys that step out onto that mat till the end are worthy of recognition. So pin me. I fear not the weak judgment of other men. As a child I trust that there is too much out there for me to know. No one is completely right…. But if you look and see the fruit of peace, this tree has strong immovable and ancient roots. Draw from that one and cease drawing “wisdom” from men bent on violence. One who understands really can have no hatred or aggression as you and I. If we close our eye and ears to the deeds of others our true vision can regain its focus.

 

jt

How many faces, for the undivided soul?

Posted in jt, monolog, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2013 by norcaliluv

   Lord have mercyI am one full of love, as God intended……. But

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAInside this outlaw will walk free to da end, stay in repentance to the last day..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThen often standing at the edge I rage with horns and burning eye. I desire love but only God can free from violence inside.

Violence is easy. I have seen it committed with all the seriousness of jumping into cold water. Grown men fascinated, bound by childish curiosity and  many fears.  I wanna break these horns and find new ears deaf to all hate…. I’d rather be  just a plain ol sufferer, but I’m not.

A tired and wounded lion lives here,  just waiting for peace and release….

Miles of error and gallons of tears, have made this outlaw desire some rest. It’s from this position here seems the Divine hears me best.

lfstry2

Pray my freedom! Love is the only way!

 jt

Dear Friends,

    If you have room for knowledge then know there is but one Judge and still only one accuser mentioned to the followers of Christ. If you be  a mortal man, how then do you the work of satan every moment of the day?! For you accuse with every breath your fellow man and as a man bent on his own destruction I follow, sometimes lead down this path. How and by what means, O foolish man did you see into the heart of another?  Having so little knowledge of your own? Who calibrated the scale of justice you use? A BLIND man! The Lord Almighty is mans only true judge. Keep your facts and your evidence, they can only mock one as sinful  as I. That “rightness” you claim with your mouth has yet to be seen.  Me I am wrong, try and wait patiently for true knowledge revealed in truth and inside. Lawless I’m free your imaginary virtue these hard days wont endure. America is around 2 bills old…….. Christianity was punishable by death with varying intensity for the first 300 years of its existence. Outlaw I’m the Anti-G, my life is to give and not take… May God awaken Truth is our hearts fellow travelers. Blessings on this truly uphill battle.

jt

Innocent fervor betrayed

Posted in jt, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 27, 2013 by norcaliluv

Dear so and so you thought a saint.?

I’ll tell you my child

I will prove that he aint.

*

This one there he is pious you say?

silly nave just look here,

see how dark? Oh the price he must pay.

*

Wait my child be informed before you go,

fifty more great men have I listed here.

Really they fail and I thought you should know.

*

What man for me a mockery of what I hold inside?

Come an orphan sure of hope

And felt the sting of wicked words, met only disdain and pride.

*

Though hero’s strive, which stay afloat upon this ocean of sin?

The righteous one then becomes thus

Returning to the Divine again and again.

*******

Satan accuses, but we children, let us choose the path of love. Love covers and does not expose. Love believes in spite of rational court data. Guilt lies in the heart and this we cannot see. Sin is common the humble and repentant are not.

What among mens wisdom?

Posted in jt, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2013 by norcaliluv

How many things do you reveal unfeigned?

From my birth, inherited hypocricies have stained.

Lonely and astray have the sincere remained.

****

Pain and suffering the way of less fortunate?

These nearly alone would mark the Kings portrait.

Could it be mens eyes upon the wrong prize set.. ?

****

Truth is caring, consistent and kind.

It hides strength in the weak, divine sight in the blind.

It needs not be heard, counts not itself the better mind.

****

If God Himself counted not possition of possesion..?

Why listen you to cowards which long only for histories mention?

Magicians, that struggle and fight for lesser minds attention.

****

The first is the last for he had found no place to begin.

The last then becomes first humbly replacing the pride of lifes sin.

We cannot posess it whole but let us be brave to begin.

****

My son, my experience says it wise to ignore all men who wish to be heard.

Truth is born upon the rock of action, not the sand of meer words.

Revealed He chose the outcast… Revealing the unrevealed in the unrehersed…

****

Our deception is a fire fed alone by our pride.

Be brave, live in light, seek no dark place to hide.

We are judged by our hearts, not a single rule of man makes guilt inside.

**

Seek Truth and ye shall find it..

JT

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