Archive for life

SHE

Posted in Elliana Trinity, jt, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2013 by norcaliluv

She sings for me,

Like summer rains on a dry land.

She smiles at me,

And takes my heart in her hand.

~~

I see light, I see love

I see the Truth in her eyes

I saw hope, when I saw you

Every moment till we said goodbye.

~~

She sings to me

To say it’s been so sad

She redeems in me

Every things they called “bad”

~~

I see light, I see love

In revolution coloured eyes

I felt time,  prayed for calm

On sweetest forgiveness I relies.

onelove

onelove

__________________________

My Dearest Elliana,

My words are powerless to express the brilliance of the flame you command in my heart. That any reader may know the words above born on no cheap sentiment.  Rather true treasure born across the darkest and most barren sea never sailed….. For one fell and leaving such beauty for an unjust and painful eternity. Seeing clearly; as it should, clarifies and resolves firstly, personal guilt. I therefore bearing no lack of culpability, sentence myself to life without parole. To be by your side baby, every moment that you wish and need until there is no life in me. It kills me to see you confused with regard to your self-worth my love. The whole  world comes to life when I look at you! I rely; as life requires water I depend on your sweet forgiveness and mercy.  It was such a sweet suffering to see you! Sweet because to me you are every good and beautiful expression of the Divine. Then painful to think how lonely you have been and so so brave against all odds. Yet I hope you soon forget our separation Elliana.  I on the other hand must NEVER forget it, having nothing of good in this life were I to fail you at love… You will be here soon..!

Daddy

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Softly Possessed by Love

Posted in Elliana Trinity, jt, monolog, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2013 by norcaliluv

I am in the storm and they fall to me like Noah’s flood inside and out. The tears produced in my life pressed by righteous indignation then by murder then death pressed inward. I had believed a lie, so long I tuned to cowards and frauds to show me the way. Those possessed of anything but love. Love that makes no condition? Ok, ok not perfect right..? Sooo many of them, you pack of donkeys!? Back on task…. The tears flow like now when these wicked things are pressed through my feeble understanding and I fight to win and then to lose, and it hurts. My heart pounds with the rage of a thousand warriors, then with the Love of Christ. This raw and pure thing brought before professors of information has yielded  upon my heart many scars. Often, as it is now my heart threatens and nags. Declaring a resignation is imminent. But knowing, that KNOWING is of central ‘matrix’ level importance, I embrace it without vengeance. For any man to be at odds with another is the philosophy of halflings and unconscious giants. I have no enemies I only refuse to be dominated by blind men and only blind men think they need to butt in and dominate in the affairs of others. I already confessed believed a lie and now as always share some level of blindness. Just not blind enough to try to control your situation declaring how I see better than you, act better than you, moralize your situation as the “leaders” of Christs time assessing by whose sin was hung the mans infirmity. I pray that I would lay down my life if you asked and I cannot allow victims be made in my presence. Then I will not butt into your sorrows as if you would be cool if you saw it like me. For me I am indomitable and this “lack of drive” you thought me possessed of……. Maybe bad things would have happened if I was as focused as I am now had I not begun in sincerity this quelling of the inner passions. Now I thinly smile and my body is racked with pain. My joints like rust fused steel. My head finds some small peace in hope filled reggae tunes. My soul aching from retching out wickedness and hate unlike Christ who was filled with sorrow for His betrayer. I see that unlike wheat we must submit to be crushed. So submit to your personal delusions they may be crushing out a healing perfume from within. Maybe you are only tending the seed for this strong tree destined to shade the weary and having deep roots a life of adversity and the fullest earthly compassion my Creator has my breath at His disposal in the protection of those weaker than I. The children will climb on these branches of my heart and if God so chooses to sustain me here as they grow. They can climb back in no matter age nor position and find shelter and only guidance requested. Am I delusional and self-possessed? I have been under the gun, on the run and in parole hearings near since birth I myself not unnaturally possessed of any truly violent or manipulative patterns or behaviors. I ( a very soft, loving and warm soul) have been by been pressed on all sides by Gods providence and though being pressed the mystery takes me higher. To all the haters and most especially mine, hate on, that the fire of injustice can burn away my injustice, my passion run wild and all delusion and imperfection. You know in the end my friends and you are all thus, we will equally understand. Then understanding we will weep. Then weeping we will laugh. Every morsel of the tiniest bit of separation must be removed. No God that I know or serve can in any way be petty enough to save Ben then send Ven to hell for not for not spelling it right. Somehow through mens lack of consciousness he forgot that the traditions sprang from a powerful mystical encounter and could on no way be twisted into a cage in which bind tender and humble souls. (As the arrogant ones have done here to the humble and beautiful native cultures in Northern California.) It is only lack of understanding that causes so many divisions and our enemy ancient and wise delights in leveraging illusion and misunderstanding to divide Gods perfect creation. So now ragged and weak I try and rest…. Softly and I pray irreversibly possessed by love.

jt

Wake from the Nightmare

Posted in jt, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 14, 2013 by norcaliluv

Friends,

FEAR NOT
In my life I have found that ANY so-called “knowledge” that inspires fear is flawed and should be discarded. Fear can be healthy only as applies when one is ignorant of something. All true knowledge should empower and if that knowledge in some way criticizes, it happens within. So if you are taught to fear I humbly suggest looking for knowledge where there is peace and not anxiety..

blessings to you all.
jt

 

this is great!!!

 

http://www.danoah.com/2013/04/the-disease-called-perfection.html

Cowardly Me?

Posted in jt, monolog, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 27, 2013 by norcaliluv

The only cowards that I see, are men presumptuous enough to label other men cowards. A crime I observe and commit enough to see it’s horrible effects. Stop it! ALL of creation is good. Yet I still fight….? I too fight an illusion. I am no teacher to sermonize from on high. I wear my singlet and report to the mat of life. I wrestle the unknown and he pins me again and again. Paul Trout a world class chef, my friend and at one time my sons wrestling coach, presented this concept to the young men.. The sport of wrestling is one that requires a certain amount of character in which you can bravely confront your fears. Therefore, whether they win them all or lose them all, the boys that step out onto that mat till the end are worthy of recognition. So pin me. I fear not the weak judgment of other men. As a child I trust that there is too much out there for me to know. No one is completely right…. But if you look and see the fruit of peace, this tree has strong immovable and ancient roots. Draw from that one and cease drawing “wisdom” from men bent on violence. One who understands really can have no hatred or aggression as you and I. If we close our eye and ears to the deeds of others our true vision can regain its focus.

 

jt

Innocent fervor betrayed

Posted in jt, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 27, 2013 by norcaliluv

Dear so and so you thought a saint.?

I’ll tell you my child

I will prove that he aint.

*

This one there he is pious you say?

silly nave just look here,

see how dark? Oh the price he must pay.

*

Wait my child be informed before you go,

fifty more great men have I listed here.

Really they fail and I thought you should know.

*

What man for me a mockery of what I hold inside?

Come an orphan sure of hope

And felt the sting of wicked words, met only disdain and pride.

*

Though hero’s strive, which stay afloat upon this ocean of sin?

The righteous one then becomes thus

Returning to the Divine again and again.

*******

Satan accuses, but we children, let us choose the path of love. Love covers and does not expose. Love believes in spite of rational court data. Guilt lies in the heart and this we cannot see. Sin is common the humble and repentant are not.

Freedom: Handle with care….

Posted in jt with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 16, 2013 by norcaliluv

I am coming to see a little more how precious, fragile and personal is the human soul. I watch, eyes filled with hot tears as we heap injustice and control on the little ones. We control and assault them with our inadequacies and hypocrisies. Respect, question not and obey!Lord have mercy. I am an Orthodox Christian (while a very poor one forgive me) and so I know of form, order, rule and tradition. I look there and I find NOTHING that binds. Except my friend only that we bind one another with wicked, cheap,  hypocritical opinions and judgment. Please I beg you….. We have NO place to label the little ones good and bad. Have mercy my friend, for their teachers are full of folly and wickedness and in no wise belong in these positions.  Let us repent and believe in the little ones, they are far more able to see  and learn from God then us tired and prideful fakes. I don’t mean in this to attack at all for we all fail, or our world would not reflect such wickedness and suffering. Only consider how we heap complex evils on them (deviance and the like)  Then say the child owns some guilt like the guilt we grown seasoned sinners carry every day. Impossible and unjust! Lord have mercy on us and give us the strength to confess our wickedness. That it maybe removed forever from memory. That we could grow once again towards You.

Believe in the goodness of His creation!!
Believe in the the little ones.
JT

The Sun Wakes One..

Posted in jt with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2012 by norcaliluv

The sun wakes one,

But is unable to warm the bones with-in.

While masses consume food and warmth by the ton.

Tomorrow will find others still frail and thin.

*

With an animosity that refuses to tire ….

Loneliness, despair and hunger attack.

Just as a coal separated from the fire,

The soul alone turns cold and black.

*

All men fall down,

But only some are left behind

Is there guilt in that “some”

To justify men’s judgment unkind?

*

Cast down your gaze…

See the world the humble see.

It will truly amaze,

To deny oneself, makes ones soul soar free.

*

I have sat alone in suffering.

My heart been filled with self-pity and revenge.

Step by painful step I get closer to the ring.

Thankful for life, the light of new days no longer makes me cringe.

*

Courage and blessing to those who struggle alone…

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