Archive for alone

Softly Possessed by Love

Posted in Elliana Trinity, jt, monolog, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2013 by norcaliluv

I am in the storm and they fall to me like Noah’s flood inside and out. The tears produced in my life pressed by righteous indignation then by murder then death pressed inward. I had believed a lie, so long I tuned to cowards and frauds to show me the way. Those possessed of anything but love. Love that makes no condition? Ok, ok not perfect right..? Sooo many of them, you pack of donkeys!? Back on task…. The tears flow like now when these wicked things are pressed through my feeble understanding and I fight to win and then to lose, and it hurts. My heart pounds with the rage of a thousand warriors, then with the Love of Christ. This raw and pure thing brought before professors of information has yielded  upon my heart many scars. Often, as it is now my heart threatens and nags. Declaring a resignation is imminent. But knowing, that KNOWING is of central ‘matrix’ level importance, I embrace it without vengeance. For any man to be at odds with another is the philosophy of halflings and unconscious giants. I have no enemies I only refuse to be dominated by blind men and only blind men think they need to butt in and dominate in the affairs of others. I already confessed believed a lie and now as always share some level of blindness. Just not blind enough to try to control your situation declaring how I see better than you, act better than you, moralize your situation as the “leaders” of Christs time assessing by whose sin was hung the mans infirmity. I pray that I would lay down my life if you asked and I cannot allow victims be made in my presence. Then I will not butt into your sorrows as if you would be cool if you saw it like me. For me I am indomitable and this “lack of drive” you thought me possessed of……. Maybe bad things would have happened if I was as focused as I am now had I not begun in sincerity this quelling of the inner passions. Now I thinly smile and my body is racked with pain. My joints like rust fused steel. My head finds some small peace in hope filled reggae tunes. My soul aching from retching out wickedness and hate unlike Christ who was filled with sorrow for His betrayer. I see that unlike wheat we must submit to be crushed. So submit to your personal delusions they may be crushing out a healing perfume from within. Maybe you are only tending the seed for this strong tree destined to shade the weary and having deep roots a life of adversity and the fullest earthly compassion my Creator has my breath at His disposal in the protection of those weaker than I. The children will climb on these branches of my heart and if God so chooses to sustain me here as they grow. They can climb back in no matter age nor position and find shelter and only guidance requested. Am I delusional and self-possessed? I have been under the gun, on the run and in parole hearings near since birth I myself not unnaturally possessed of any truly violent or manipulative patterns or behaviors. I ( a very soft, loving and warm soul) have been by been pressed on all sides by Gods providence and though being pressed the mystery takes me higher. To all the haters and most especially mine, hate on, that the fire of injustice can burn away my injustice, my passion run wild and all delusion and imperfection. You know in the end my friends and you are all thus, we will equally understand. Then understanding we will weep. Then weeping we will laugh. Every morsel of the tiniest bit of separation must be removed. No God that I know or serve can in any way be petty enough to save Ben then send Ven to hell for not for not spelling it right. Somehow through mens lack of consciousness he forgot that the traditions sprang from a powerful mystical encounter and could on no way be twisted into a cage in which bind tender and humble souls. (As the arrogant ones have done here to the humble and beautiful native cultures in Northern California.) It is only lack of understanding that causes so many divisions and our enemy ancient and wise delights in leveraging illusion and misunderstanding to divide Gods perfect creation. So now ragged and weak I try and rest…. Softly and I pray irreversibly possessed by love.

jt

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Wake from the Nightmare

Posted in jt, Uncategorized, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 14, 2013 by norcaliluv

Friends,

FEAR NOT
In my life I have found that ANY so-called “knowledge” that inspires fear is flawed and should be discarded. Fear can be healthy only as applies when one is ignorant of something. All true knowledge should empower and if that knowledge in some way criticizes, it happens within. So if you are taught to fear I humbly suggest looking for knowledge where there is peace and not anxiety..

blessings to you all.
jt

 

this is great!!!

 

http://www.danoah.com/2013/04/the-disease-called-perfection.html

Worthless

Posted in jt with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2012 by norcaliluv

Swallowed up…. Overwhelmed by uselessness
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On the dark edge of nowhere, plunging into it’s nothingness
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Nowhere to rest wearing shame like an iron necklace
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The once fair form, deformed by rage and ugliness
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No soul cares to look at all the soul has transgressed
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The soul dies inwardly, causing life to regress
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Tired be this soul…..  Growing ever more fond of death

  I am really trying to share a snippet of my struggle. Some criticise the dark theme of my work but in trying to avoid hypocricy I only share as my own soul percieves. This is what I wrestle with. These struggles fill up my day with toil. They separate me from love. From love and it’s supernatural power to conquer all. I have not many earthly ambitions and I am having trouble choosing things conducive to life. I see lifes beauty in the eyes of my little girl. I feel it’s sting right here and right now. I feel it’s hate like heat, it burns shame upon my back. I am still breathing though and there may well spring forth a victory released from my pen. To my soul, from Gods heart for His creation.

Forgive me, pray for me,
JT

If Life Loves Not….

Posted in jt, Veritas et Aeuqtias with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 3, 2012 by norcaliluv

If life loves not, then why should I
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I see nothing real with the naked eye
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Your fake ass lies sufferers decry.
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I lay here alone and here alone I        die
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No soul to comfort me bye and   bye
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You judge and minimize these tears I cry.
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Many times I wish I had wings, to fly.
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If you had taken a moment to look into my eyes
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A love lives there you could not deny.
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I crouch down as around me devil’s fly
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If life loves not, then why should I.
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I see no friends and hear only demons cries.
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Alone I’m not bitter, but still I die.
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This lonely battle I wage  inside.

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Posted from WordPress for Android with love.. JT

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