The long and winding road called Trust.

Over the years I have written a number of papers and poems about trust.  It is some what of an intangible for me.  I long to stand among brothers who know me fully and are fully known by me.  Accepted and trusted in all things.  People that I can feel 100% secure around, in good times and bad.  The masks that we wear are so numerous and in many cases are so  necessary that trusting becomes a slippery slope that causes us to use cation in  all our relationships.  So where does our soul find rest?  At which time does it become safe to bare our soul?  I have taken the risks and felt the sting of rejection.  Though I am only 35 years old, my soul is old and tired.  I am worn with lies and rejection. I long to rest with souls that know my pain.  Below is one of the many that I wrote.  Very short, it calls out to God and asks questions that I have not yet answered.

What is trust and how is a man to perform it?

It seems to me that history is full of mostly deciet and betrayal.

It is true also that I am above nothing in this world to claim myself a man of many virtues.

If I could only trust another.  That would be ecstacy.

Is is pride that will not allow me to trust brothers?

Could it be simply fear of being made to look like a fool that stops me?

I think that it is not that simple.

Does the potential for pain, and therfore cowardice keep me from trusting?

To trust your fellow man is foolish,

and to run away or fake your way through,

is a cowardly act…

Sincerity is the path of pain and lonliness..

The path of one foriegn to this world…

Live it until it kills you..

JT Outlawya killin me!


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